Cool. An enduring word, and for good reason. It makes sense, it describes rather well what it is. To be cool, you’ve got to be cool. When things get tough – who gets animated and agitated and aggravated? Not the cool kids.
They leave it to others. They watch as the temperatures rises and others lose their, y’know, cool. Sweating, going red, maybe even hyper ventilating – as they watch you and wonder, what’s that like.
Actually no – cool people do not notice the uncool. They just aren’t there. Look, what I am saying here is this: cool people are cool. They are not easily roused. They do not become ruffled. They are….. smooth.
They stare into the middle distance and look as if they are thinking about a really fantastic party they were at recently.
So how? Well if I knew that, things would be a lot easily. Cooler. But I think I know one important way to avoid it. Don’t tell your kids they are going to fail. No one does this overtly. Well not many. But there is a slice of the population – and I think this is a class thing, that are prone to telling their kids that. And they do this because it’s part of their culture. why?
Well at some point – long time ago – if you did upset the wrong people, if you failed, then you were likely to lose whatever job you had, and starve.
I don’t know. Probably. It’s just a theory.
But there’s definitely a correlation, with class, y’know. Think of the people you know who are cool. Who ask for things in a way that never considers for a moment, that they will be turned down (but still they remain likeable, and that’s the epitome of charm by the way). And that all comes from one place: its manners married to a gentility that is bred out of an environment where they were confident of their own abilities and success. No one tells them ‘you are going to fail.’
Now I don’t think this happens so much anymore – it’s very fashionable to tell your kids they will succeed in everything – and there’s plenty wrong with that too. But if you move around in a space where success is expected – it will come. Success begets success. That’s the secret of success, and class and cool.